Less Than Someone Else

So I watched Biggest Loser tonight. The title comes from something Phillip said as he was being eliminated tonight: "I don't want my boy's to feel that they are less than someone else." It is a direct parallel to how I view myself. I use the people on this show for motivation as I have found others use me for motivation. I am not special. I am not gifted. I am merely a man that has a big heart that I wear on my sleeve.

When someone tells me that they are amazed by the amount that I work out, I just tell them that I have a goal. I tell them to find what motivates them. I am still larger than I want to be, but I am working out for someone else and myself. I am still training for my triathalon. I am still swimming 4000 to 8000 yards a week. It's a lot closer to 8000 yards a week. I am still not fast, but I am getting faster. My goal is to complete a tripple crown, but really it is to eliminate Cancer. I am motivated by the fact that my simple participation in endurance events, continues to coalesce you all into donating for the needed research to complete this larger goal.

I have started running in addition to swimming. I walk for a minute, and then run (not jog) for a minute. I am able to cover about 2.5 miles in 30 minutes with this stratergy. Tonight, I went about 2.75 miles in my 30 minutes. I am happy! I am getting stronger. I am finding that even though it hurts, it is rewarding.

Back to the topic of the Biggest Loser, when Phillip put his wedding ring back on for the first time in 15 years after outgrowing it, I was able to understand what it meant to him. I have shrunk out of my own wedding ring. My ring is a 13.5. I cannot keep it on without concentrating on keeping my ring finger bent.

I will not have it resized for one reason. It is a symbol of the beginning and the end of my relationship with Jenny. This may seem silly, but I am not willing to have any of that time cut out of my ring. Jenny and I have been together for 22 years. We have been married for 12 of those years. We may not always get along. We may not always like each other. But without her none of what I have done would have been possible. I find unlimited support from her. I find someone that believes in me when I have no belief in myself. I am a simple small man on the inside, with her love and support, I am able to step beyond my own belief that I am less than someone else.

Funny how life can parallel television.