Inadequate In My Eyes

I have always viewed myself as inadequate. Everyone else is better, more deserving and more qualified than I am. Funny that when I talk to others, that their view of me is that I am all those things, but not inadequate. Why are we always hardest on ourselves?

Trust me, I am the world's worst perfectionist. I do not excel at anything. I also try not to give up on anything. Would I like to be great at something? Sure I would! But if everything came easy, would the reward and the feeling of success mean anything? The things that I do have marginal ability in, seem to bring me the most frustration. If I was only a little better at this detail, I would be complete. If I was only a little stronger, would I feel more accomplished?

Life is full of these type of questions. If you are able to reflect on your feelings, you have not quit. Life is for trying new things. Life if for failing and learning from those failures. Life is about accomplishing what you set your mind to do, and rewarding yourself by enjoying it when you succeed! I have a lot to work on when it comes to the latter. I am miles from where I started this journey, and I am miles from where I want to be.

The journey is the thing comes to mind here. When you realize that life is a journey, and you take time to enjoy it the rest of the strife seems to fade in comparison to the ride you are on. Others love and admire you, even if you don't have much love for yourself. Cherish those who offer you friendship. Accept those that don't offer you friendship, and wish them well in their journey.

Thanks to those who have love in their hearts for me. To those who I have offended in my 38 years, I am sorry. For those I will meet in the future, I am not a perfect person, but I am willing to admit that I am not infallible. Take time to teach me what you can, and know that I appreciate the lesson.

It is the lessons I have learned over the last few years that allow me to write this so freely, and without fear of reprisal. I am to a point in my life where it is not so much the view others have of me, but of the view I have of myself that matters. If only life allowed this to come earlier... Would I be a different man? Who knows, but I know that I would not have learned all the valuable lessons that I now can claim to have knowledge of.

The important thing is this: to be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become. - Charles Du Bos