Pity Party Over Move On

You know, sometimes I get in a funk like everyone else. It is probably a very natural cycle, but I have to tell you, I don't like it! Being in a funk is nothing more than making the wrong choice on what you have in your life. There really is a silver lining to every cloud. What? Did I just say that? I guess I did.

Not every day is going to go my way. Not every experience is going to turn out the way I want it to. I am not always going to feel good about myself. But I am alive! I am here! And I do make a difference!

Often, when I don't like myself. I am finding that it is when I don't feel that I am making a difference. When I stop and look at where I was two years ago, WOW! There is a huge difference. I don't wake up every morning saying; "Oh shit, here we go again!" I still may not want to go to work, I would rather go workout. A job is a way to put food on the table and pay the mortgage, it is not my life. Two years ago, I thought that was all life was about. Don't get me wrong, I still love where I am working. The people are wonderful. They were at the last place too. But a job is just that, a job. A means to an end. This one is more rewarding emotionally, and that is what I need. My real reward is making a difference, to those around me.

I never thought I could make difference. But I know that I have encouraged others, by my endeavors. Silly that a big lug like me can do that. I know that my humor in stressful situations is a gift. I still need to develop a filter. By that I mean, I cannot always say what comes to my twisted mind. I never mean to hurt someone else's feelings. Often, I worry that I do unintentionally. I hope the mirth heals any wounds that my banter causes.

My goal this year, because I don't believe in resolutions is to not pity myself. I want to improve my perspective of myself. I don't want to be narcissistic. I just want to stop feeling poorly over stuff in my life that is not really all that bad. I have my health. I have my children. I have my wife. I have my parents. I have my sibling. I have friends. I have laughter. I have a job. I have goals. I have abilities. I have means to use my abilities to make my goals a reality. What do I have to be angry about? What am I lacking to be negative about? I think the answer might be either perspective or self-esteem! Well, guess what? Feel free to remind me that I have done a few things recently that can never be taken away from me; a century ride, a marathon, been a parent, been a husband, been a son, been a brother, hopefully, been a friend, been a human being! None of those makes me special. They just make me, ME! As Popeye used to say; "I am what I am, and that is all that I am!"

Here's to realizing that I don't have anything that bad in my life. Here's to chasing what I actually believe in, (wow, I believe in things)! Here's to putting others needs in front of my own! Pity Party Over Move On To Bigger Things In Your Life, Than Yourself!

Thanks for accepting me as I am. Hopefully I will learn to do the same.