Doubt and Attitude

So I cannot lie that lately I am have been having doubts and attitude issues. I don't know what is causing either. I have a great job that I like, but man am I buried. One those times where I have so much to do that I am almost paralyzed in trying to decide what to work on. I don't know if this is making me doubt my abilities to accomplish everything that I need to? I don't know if this is causing me to question my organizational skills. I don't know if this is causing me to struggle on some of my rides lately.

Every day I can choose my attitude, I have learned that over the last couple of years by participating with LLS. I am just facing difficulty, but not anything serious. I think this has been one of my best gifts from these experiences. I can push through this. I will achieve what I need to, and the mental struggles will teach me lessons. Hopefully one of them is confidence. That is one of the hardest ones for me to maintain.

There will always be difficult times in anything one endeavors to do. There will be moments where you will think you will reach the goal easily, and then question if it was ever possible. I need to focus on the fact that everything can be broken down in to smaller components, be it miles toward the finish line, or smaller pieces of a project that can be put together to be a completed project.

When I have these doubt and attitude issues, I tend to over internalize them. I don't know why, but I wind up to devalue my abilities. Is it because it is easier to assume failure will be less painful, if I expect it from myself. I never want to fail, and I don't recall the last time I did but it is the other side of the coin, and you always wonder if that is what is going to come up on the coin toss. I think I need to find a coin with success on both sides, and then I can put this worry out of my head.

Maybe by leaving these thoughts here, I can clear my head and find the focus and drive I need to keep pushing to the goal. Maybe I just need to make smaller goals and celebrate achieving them, and then take the focus off of the completion of the major ones but keep the memories of the total journey.

Anyway enough ramblings from me.