TNT 2010 Season Update 3

There have been a lot of cool things going on, I just have not had any time to get an update out here, so here goes!

The team has been working really hard. We have been riding outside now for about five or six weeks. We have moved the rides around a bit to keep it fresh and fun. We have ridden in Minneapolis, Minnetonka, Plymouth, Shoreview, Oakdale, Lakeville, and this weekend, we will ride from Stillwater, MN over into Wisconsin for about 70 miles. The team is bonding and having fun.

Not all rides are fun. Last week a few of us went down to ride Ironman, in Lakeville. The conditions were less than pleasant with rain and a lot of wind. Two very special things stick out from this ride.

The first is that at the end, I heard several of my teammates indicate that when they really felt like quitting due to being cold and wet and getting blown sideways by the wind and pushed backwards by the wind that they thought of the reason why they were doing the training for this event. It stops being about you and your discomfort and it starts being about someone fighting for their life. It is amazing after four years how powerful a message that is. It is not about us as individuals, it is about what can we add to the whole.

The second special thing was that as I was pealing off my layers of wet gear was that a man stopped after seeing my Leukemia & Lymphoma Society bike jersey and reached out and touched the logo on my chest and said; "That is a really cool organization! Thank you." I don't know what his tie to the organization is, but it brings back memories of a man thanking me in Tahoe back in 2007 for doing a ride to raise funds to beat these cancers. It is very humbling to know that through the society I can make a difference with your help.

I cannot say that this year cycling has always been as easy as I hoped it would be. I have really gotten beat up on a few rides and wondered if I would have the strength to push through to the end. I am not always riding as fast as I want. That is when I need to stop and remember it is not for me. It is so we can end these cancers. I am enjoying being a mentor and getting to know my team. I love riding with some of my friends from previous seasons, but I am really enjoying my new teammates as well. Lots of laughs and good rides yet to come.

Hard to believe that we have only 36 days until we push out from State Line, Nevada and venture around Lake Tahoe. I remember the season being so long the first year. Now, I am feeling that it has not been long enough. I know we will all be ready, no matter how hard we have to work to get to that point.

May 26, 2010 is the close of the fund raising for this season, so if you have not yet had time to make a donation, and are still willing, please visit my fund raising site. As always, you are the ones that do the important work. I am merely a conduit for your generosity. There is a quote that I recently found, that I really like;

"What we have done for ourselves alone dies with us; What we have done for others and the world remains and is immortal." Albert Pike

This is something we have done together and it truly will be immortal when we end cancer! The job is not done yet. We are making progress. I am thankful for all of you being a part of the fight.

Go TEAM!

Doubt and Attitude

So I cannot lie that lately I am have been having doubts and attitude issues. I don't know what is causing either. I have a great job that I like, but man am I buried. One those times where I have so much to do that I am almost paralyzed in trying to decide what to work on. I don't know if this is making me doubt my abilities to accomplish everything that I need to? I don't know if this is causing me to question my organizational skills. I don't know if this is causing me to struggle on some of my rides lately.

Every day I can choose my attitude, I have learned that over the last couple of years by participating with LLS. I am just facing difficulty, but not anything serious. I think this has been one of my best gifts from these experiences. I can push through this. I will achieve what I need to, and the mental struggles will teach me lessons. Hopefully one of them is confidence. That is one of the hardest ones for me to maintain.

There will always be difficult times in anything one endeavors to do. There will be moments where you will think you will reach the goal easily, and then question if it was ever possible. I need to focus on the fact that everything can be broken down in to smaller components, be it miles toward the finish line, or smaller pieces of a project that can be put together to be a completed project.

When I have these doubt and attitude issues, I tend to over internalize them. I don't know why, but I wind up to devalue my abilities. Is it because it is easier to assume failure will be less painful, if I expect it from myself. I never want to fail, and I don't recall the last time I did but it is the other side of the coin, and you always wonder if that is what is going to come up on the coin toss. I think I need to find a coin with success on both sides, and then I can put this worry out of my head.

Maybe by leaving these thoughts here, I can clear my head and find the focus and drive I need to keep pushing to the goal. Maybe I just need to make smaller goals and celebrate achieving them, and then take the focus off of the completion of the major ones but keep the memories of the total journey.

Anyway enough ramblings from me.

TNT 2010 Season Update 2

Where to start. First of all thank you to all that have donated so far. For those of you who sent checks, they should post soon. We are really close to making the minimum and for that I thank you for that. I cannot every say thank you enough for your belief and support in this cause.

The TEAM is continuing to work hard and all of us are dying to get outside. There will be an outside ride this weekend. I don't think if the weather continues to cooperate we will be staying in doors after this weekend. Riding a bike is fun, riding a stationary bike is not so much. It is necessary and pays dividends, but it does not bring the same satisfaction. The TEAM is starting to come together and we are having some fun. That will grow when we are outside and seeing new sites.

I got in a 10 mile ride last week. I was going to stretch it out to 20 as it was feeling pretty good, and then I got a flat. I had the necessary items to change it, but it was a rear flat and I have trouble getting the chain on right for some reason after I take the rear wheel off. I called Jenny and she came and picked me up and I changed it at home. I hurt my foot walking my bike a short distance, but it is recovering. I hope to get out again this week and get a full 20 in this time.

I have given up beer totally for the month of March, and I am glad to say that I have only missed it a couple of times. I can also gladly say March is almost over and it will taste good to have a beer on April 1, and a couple watching the Wild game on April 2. I have not been able to shed any pounds doing this for some reason as I had hoped, but I am still lacking motivation when I go to the gym. The pounds should drop when we get outside and increase the mileage.

I also have expanded my workout to include Yoga. I did not know if I would like it or not, but I find that I feel really good after I do it. My hip flexors have been really tight so far this season and a couple of Yoga sessions a week have all but eradicated the back pain I have had from this issue. Would have thought I would need to check in my "Man Card" to admit doing Yoga, but I like it.

Thanks for your continued support as I chase what makes me happy and helps others. The latter being more important.

My Story Is Not Unique

I am thankful for the title of this entry. I was talking with a cancer survivor and they informed me that they no longer felt like their story was unique. To me that is a wonderful thing! I am glad that this person survived cancer! I am glad that the survival story is loosing it's unique qualities, not that surviving cancer is a minor thing, but that in more people are surviving.

I have mulled this comment over for the last few days, and it is truly one of those things that makes me glad to do what I do. I needed to find something in my life that brought me happiness. Albeit twisted to find happiness in enduring miles in water, on bike, or on foot. If what I do funds through your generosity an increased uniqueness in the survivability of cancer I am benefited in two ways. I am happy moving forward, (preferably on a bicycle), and I am happy to know more cancer survivors.

My own story is not unique, but in it, I am. I have found contentment in who I am in all my insecurities. I still have fear, I still feel small in this world. Neither of these are bad if I push past them and still attempt something that I am interested in and find enjoyment and growth in.

In summation, being unique is a quality we all posses. There are commonalities that we all have just by being human. There are differences in how, and why we are the way we are. By setting aside our own uniqueness, and working for a common goal, success is inevitable. I thank you for working towards the common goal of making cancer survivor stories all the more common!

TNT 2010 Season Update 1

I am excited to be back on the bike, (even if it is only stationary). I am so looking forward to getting outside, but I am a realist in the fact that March is the snowiest month here in Minnesota. Spin sessions are underway and we even threw in a core work out on Tuesday, which I am still feeling.

The TEAM is doing really well. Lots of participation. Lots of good questions and ideas. I really enjoy being around these folks. I am so glad that the season is here. I need the structure and obligations to keep my motivation up. I have not met anyone through TNT that I don't like. I don't know what the connection is, but it seems to draw a lot of really nice people.

I have learned through my participation these last three years that I have abilities that I thought were gone. I have been able to open myself up to new experiences, and take some chances. I have learned that by sharing the journey that others have been inspired by me. I am not as strong a person in all the ways I would really like to be, but I am not as bad as my own view of myself sometimes is. There is still a brighter light waiting to shine from somewhere deep down inside. That light breaks out from time to time, and especially during the season!

Thanks for your past support! I hope you can join me this year too! The fight is not done, and I have a lot more pedal cranks to go until blood cancer is a thing of the past. If you could help me this year by spreading my message to your personal networks to bring awareness, it would be greatly appreciated. You guys amaze me with your belief in a simple man with a goal no matter how crazy you may think I am for riding 100 miles in a day on a bicycle.

Recommitment is fast approaching on March 19, 2010. If you have not had a chance, please visit my fundraising site!

Season Totals: 5 hours on a spin bike, 1 core workout session much more fun ahead!

Finding My Way This Season

With the season underway, I am finding my way. The TEAM is coalescing quickly. The training sessions are more about getting seat time and building up tolerance in the hind quarters. The trainings will increase in difficulty to build the legs up.

I find that when I am away from the schedule of participating with a TEAM that I lose focus on what is important. I have more free time in my schedule, but I waste it. Time becomes tight during the season, with work commitments, family commitments, and TEAM obligations. I find that I am a better time manager in a crunch for some reason. This is counter intuitive to me as I like to think that I like to be prepared for things in advance.

Maybe it is being surrounded by old friends, and gaining new ones that lends clarity to my mind. This along with burning off any excess energy and troubling issues being set aside for training sessions. The body is weary, but the mind is thriving. I am more creative and attentive during the season.

I'm finding my way this season and so far enjoying it immensely!

Let The Season Begin But Someone Is Missing

I am so happy that the season for TNT is kicking off finally. We had the kickoff party last Saturday, February 6, 2010!!!! Training starts tomorrow morning at the Southdale YMCA.

I am trying to get back into drinking water, water, and more water. Right now I am getting in about 64 - 96 ounces a day of free water. Staying hydrated is always key in keeping muscles from cramping and recovering. Not always the funnest thing to do, but necessary as my legs have not been getting as much spin time as necessary so the first couple of spin sessions will probably tax them a little bit.

I did challenge myself this week for the first time in a long time at the gym!!! I got in the pool and decided to see if I still had a mile in the tank. I started out real slow and steady, and after about 20 or 30 lengths, I got into a good steady rhythm and picked up a little speed. I am still not fast, but I was able to pull the 1800 yards in about 40 minutes. I was pretty stoked!!! Have been needing a challenge, and this fit the bill.

I am sorry to say that LLS and TNT lost a member of our family. Steve Berg, my co-mentor during 2008 passed away from a heart attack on February 1, 2010. Steve was one of those guys that just had a way of bringing out the best from those around him. He made my

job as a mentor easier because I knew that I had someone to bounce ideas off of and knew that I would get good feedback! Steve always was quick with a smile and a laugh. Steve always wore a green wig to have fun and encourage all those around him to have fun. He will be missed.