Friday, April 30, 2010

TNT 2010 Season Update 3

There have been a lot of cool things going on, I just have not had any time to get an update out here, so here goes!

The team has been working really hard. We have been riding outside now for about five or six weeks. We have moved the rides around a bit to keep it fresh and fun. We have ridden in Minneapolis, Minnetonka, Plymouth, Shoreview, Oakdale, Lakeville, and this weekend, we will ride from Stillwater, MN over into Wisconsin for about 70 miles. The team is bonding and having fun.

Not all rides are fun. Last week a few of us went down to ride Ironman, in Lakeville. The conditions were less than pleasant with rain and a lot of wind. Two very special things stick out from this ride.

The first is that at the end, I heard several of my teammates indicate that when they really felt like quitting due to being cold and wet and getting blown sideways by the wind and pushed backwards by the wind that they thought of the reason why they were doing the training for this event. It stops being about you and your discomfort and it starts being about someone fighting for their life. It is amazing after four years how powerful a message that is. It is not about us as individuals, it is about what can we add to the whole.

The second special thing was that as I was pealing off my layers of wet gear was that a man stopped after seeing my Leukemia & Lymphoma Society bike jersey and reached out and touched the logo on my chest and said; "That is a really cool organization! Thank you." I don't know what his tie to the organization is, but it brings back memories of a man thanking me in Tahoe back in 2007 for doing a ride to raise funds to beat these cancers. It is very humbling to know that through the society I can make a difference with your help.

I cannot say that this year cycling has always been as easy as I hoped it would be. I have really gotten beat up on a few rides and wondered if I would have the strength to push through to the end. I am not always riding as fast as I want. That is when I need to stop and remember it is not for me. It is so we can end these cancers. I am enjoying being a mentor and getting to know my team. I love riding with some of my friends from previous seasons, but I am really enjoying my new teammates as well. Lots of laughs and good rides yet to come.

Hard to believe that we have only 36 days until we push out from State Line, Nevada and venture around Lake Tahoe. I remember the season being so long the first year. Now, I am feeling that it has not been long enough. I know we will all be ready, no matter how hard we have to work to get to that point.

May 26, 2010 is the close of the fund raising for this season, so if you have not yet had time to make a donation, and are still willing, please visit my fund raising site. As always, you are the ones that do the important work. I am merely a conduit for your generosity. There is a quote that I recently found, that I really like;

"What we have done for ourselves alone dies with us; What we have done for others and the world remains and is immortal." Albert Pike

This is something we have done together and it truly will be immortal when we end cancer! The job is not done yet. We are making progress. I am thankful for all of you being a part of the fight.

Go TEAM!



Thursday, April 8, 2010

Doubt and Attitude

So I cannot lie that lately I am have been having doubts and attitude issues. I don't know what is causing either. I have a great job that I like, but man am I buried. One those times where I have so much to do that I am almost paralyzed in trying to decide what to work on. I don't know if this is making me doubt my abilities to accomplish everything that I need to? I don't know if this is causing me to question my organizational skills. I don't know if this is causing me to struggle on some of my rides lately.

Every day I can choose my attitude, I have learned that over the last couple of years by participating with LLS. I am just facing difficulty, but not anything serious. I think this has been one of my best gifts from these experiences. I can push through this. I will achieve what I need to, and the mental struggles will teach me lessons. Hopefully one of them is confidence. That is one of the hardest ones for me to maintain.

There will always be difficult times in anything one endeavors to do. There will be moments where you will think you will reach the goal easily, and then question if it was ever possible. I need to focus on the fact that everything can be broken down in to smaller components, be it miles toward the finish line, or smaller pieces of a project that can be put together to be a completed project.

When I have these doubt and attitude issues, I tend to over internalize them. I don't know why, but I wind up to devalue my abilities. Is it because it is easier to assume failure will be less painful, if I expect it from myself. I never want to fail, and I don't recall the last time I did but it is the other side of the coin, and you always wonder if that is what is going to come up on the coin toss. I think I need to find a coin with success on both sides, and then I can put this worry out of my head.

Maybe by leaving these thoughts here, I can clear my head and find the focus and drive I need to keep pushing to the goal. Maybe I just need to make smaller goals and celebrate achieving them, and then take the focus off of the completion of the major ones but keep the memories of the total journey.

Anyway enough ramblings from me.