Life, Well It's Just Plain Interesting!

When you look at your average day, what do you experience? What are the high points, and what are the low? Every day has both. What determines whether they are high or low? In my opinion it falls down to my favorite; Perspective.

Perspective is by far one of the best gifts we are given as human beings. The old can teach the young, and the young can teach the old. It is a blessing and a curse wrapped in the same pretty paper. By this, I imagine that I mean any individual can grant you a window into what you should be experiencing at the same time they are.

My daughters accompanied my sister to her fifth out of six chemo appointments to treat her cancer. My ten and eight year old came home talking about a young boy who was not happy while they were there. I assumed automatically that it was another patients child who had accompanied them to their own treatment. By listening to my children, I was granted perspective.

The child was in Izzy's words in his "four or fives" , (a young person's perspective on age trying to relate to someone in their 20's or 30's). This young man was crying and not happy. I later learned in the conversation that he was the patient. He was under going chemo to fight his cancer.

My assumptions and my perspective were snapped into clarity. What do I have in my day to day life to complain about. I am nothing but a functional human being. I have had a remarkable life. Despite my lack of constant perspective. I am 38 and have two healthy children (Thank God)! I am not a strong man. I am not a good man. I am merely a man. It is through my children this day that I am granted perspective.

When life's daily activities cloud perspective, we must be diligent in listening to others for they will bring into focus what we should be paying attention to. I had a good day and accomplished what I needed to at work. Is this what I really was put here on earth to do? I think not. I was put here I hope to make a difference. What that difference is, I am not fully sure. I hope and I put my energy into making a difference in the fight against cancer. I hope to leave some mark on the earth that I was here. Be it through my endeavors or my children and their progeny.

I hope that when my girls are old enough to understand what I have written in this blog, that I will grant them perspective. Listen to others. Help where you can. Reflect on the day's lessons. They are there if you are open and willing to pay attention. Life is a circle, and well it is just plain interesting.

Go TEAM!

Dear Friends and Family,

For the past two years, I have ridden a bicycle 100 miles, and walked and run 26.2 miles, to fight a disease. I hate cancer in any form. It steals so much and in return offers nothing. I come back to you for the third year with my hat in my hand to humbly ask you to make a difference in fighting a disease that takes so much from so many. I ask not for me but for those suffering from cancer. I am training to participate in an Olympic distance triathlon to raise money to fight blood cancers. Swimming 0.93 miles, Cycling 24.8 miles, and Running 6.2 miles in hope of one day ending these diseases!

This year, I am doing this event in honor of two people very close to me that are currently fighting cancer. My personal honorees are my grandfather, and my sister. When cancer strikes this close to home, you can do one of two things; 1) bury your head in your hands and dissolve into hoping it will go away, or 2) Stand up, slug the bully in the eye and fight with every fiber in your body to end it. I choose option two, and I hope you will as well.

The TEAM honoree is a remarkable young man of 14. He happens to be a member of my local community, Eric Dahlquist. Eric was diagnosed with (ALL) Acute lymphocytic leukemia, and has fought his way through treatments to take his last chemo pill on April 29, 2008. He still has monthly doctor visits that will begin to taper off starting April of 2009. Eric has been the honoree of the triathlon team for the last two years. To say that he is inspiring is an understatement. He likes to play video games, golf, swim and camp. He has the support of Dad, Neil; Mom, Marcia; and sister, Ellen.

As a member of TNT, I have a triathlon coaching staff, a training program, and incredible teammates to support me. I have daily schedules and TEAM training sessions to help me reach this goal. As part of my dedication to the LLS, I have agreed to raise $2,700. I am asking you to help me with the most significant part of this challenge. I promise to earn your contribution with every swim stroke, pedal crank, and stride. This year the event is local for those in Minnesota, and if you want to see this spectacle in person, mark your calendar for July 11, 2009 at Lake Nokomis starting at 07:00 CDT.

LLS and TNT has changed me at the very core of my being. I am no longer a lost individual wandering through my time on earth. I now have focus, commitment and a goal of eradicating blood cancer. 72 cents of every dollar goes right to research to find a cure for blood cancer. This research is increasing survival rates. It is also moving us forward to a day when we can all celebrate the cure for blood cancers. It is my hope that what is learned from this fight will transfer to fighting all forms of cancer.

Would you please join me in the endeavor? I am asking for $30.00, but will gladly accept a contribution of any amount, smaller or larger. Please donate online or mail your contributions to me by May 19 so I can track my fundraising progress. Donations are 100% tax-deductible Please check with your Human Resources Directors about matching gifts. Donate online and track my progress on my Web site: http://pages.teamintraining.org/mn/lifetri09/mmcelyea . Checks can be made out to LLS, just use the self-addressed enclosed envelope along with any thoughts you may wish to share with me.

Thank you in advance for your support! Thank you for your prayers, and thoughts for all enduring these serious illnesses. We can all make a difference in this fight!

With heartfelt appreciation and thanks,


Marc

Rested, Relaxed, Invigorated

Okay, so I caught some Z's! I needed them badly. I got to sleep finally at 02:00 CST this morning and slept for 5 hours. Not fully recuperated, I left work early and took a two hour nap. I feel rested, and relaxed.

I also feel invigorated. Not from the slumber, but from attending a TNT meeting to recruit people to help in the fight against blood cancer! I went the local meeting in Shoreview tonight. As I am not mentoring this year, I was not speaking. I like to be there to help answer questions and possibly lay aside anyone's fear that they are not capable of doing fund raising or completing an endurance event.

The meeting was a huge success. Most of the people signed up that attended. I saw real courage in these new teammates! A neighbor of mine is going to try the Grand Canyon hike. He has done four century rides, and wants to try something new! Way to go! I met a lady who's husband is fighting Lymphoma, and she is riding Tahoe! She is excited, and I am excited for her! I met a few of the folks that I will be training for the triathlon with. I love when a new season kicks off! I know there will be challenges, but they will be overcome with hard work and dedication!

I like the feeling of hope, and determination these meetings instill. While I am only a small player in this fight, I know that my contribution is a positive one. I know that this is where I need to be. I know that having a goal is important. I know that reaching the goal requires hard work. It requires facing fears, and breaking through them. Knowing that in the end a mark has been made. A mark that has bettered society and the world as a whole. It makes me a better person. It makes me happy. It makes me continue to dream. Maybe the rough days are behind me for a time. Bring on the challenge. I am here. I am ready. I am capable.

Go TEAM!

41 hours on 45 minutes

Okay, so this may not be the most coherent of posts. I have fallen into a rut that I used to live in constantly. I was awoken by a call from a friend last night after a 45 minute repose and I cannot go back to sleep. It was an unintentional call, but now some flaw in my make up will not shut off. I have been on the go for abut 41 hours now, and know from past experience, I won't shut off until my body gives out.

When I fight my personality flaws, as I have been lately, this issue arises. When I was working for the Death Star company, I lived this nightmare in perpetuity. These bouts of insomnia were the norm not the exception. When you cross the line where sleep is irrelevant, and you rest while awake clarity creeps in.

In my own insecurity, the realization that I don't matter in the greater mix becomes clear. This does not mean that I don't matter as an individual! It just means that I am a mere player on a stage where my absence or presence is irrelevant. My goal is to matter to those players around me and not the stage as a whole.

It is when you cross into this void of normalcy that you find out who you are and what your issues are. I hope that nobody else falls into this odd situation. I've been here before, and on occasion enjoy a short visit to the land of time between time. Here I find the solitude I seek. Here if find that my faults are real. Here I have to face my own inner worries. The trick is to realize that I am not fully rational while I am visiting this place. I can take the odd thought while here and formulate a resolution to it in the real waking world.

The positive thing is that I have not visited this odd place in two plus years. The scary part is I recognize where I am. It brings to mind the poem by Robert Frost:

"... The woods are lovely, dark, and deep, But I have promises to keep,And miles to go before I sleep, And miles to go before I sleep."

My mind is lovely, dark and deep. I do have promises to keep. I have miles to go before I sleep. So off I go to find resolution, rest and repose from things I cannot control and things that I can. To brighter days and better posts.

Swim, Spin, Run Forrest Run!

I have changed my workouts a bit. I have cut back on the distance of the swimming. I am trying to increase some speed and cover 1000 yards. This is going well. I have cut it down from 26 - 27 minutes to about 25 minutes. Need to let my left shoulder recover a bit, I think I have a touch of tendinitis. Nothing serious, just notice up around 1500 yards I have to be gentle with my pull through the water. I still enjoy the swimming, but with all the dry air of winter, I am not a fan of chlorine. Swimming is relaxing and challenging.

I have started to add between 30 to 40 minutes of spinning after my swim. I really try to focus on keeping my heart rate between 130 and 140 during this time. I am already warmed up from the swim, but since I don't kick much during my swimming, I allow for a 5 minute leg warm up on the bike. This is time to crank the tunes, and just get through the monotony of spinning and going nowhere. A spin bike does not compare to a road ride in the least. I can sit on my bike saddle for hours, but can only stand about 15 minutes on a stationary bike. The way around this is to post out of the saddle for 15 seconds every 15 minutes or so to ease the pressure on the tush.

Once the ride is over, it is time to work. Get on the running shoes and hit the track at the gym. 10 laps is a mile. I can run about seven laps comfortably with my heart rate between 150 and 160. I usually allow myself to walk one lap at a brisk pace, run the next, and then finish number 10 as a cool down. I really hope to start building up some base here. It is somewhere between a 12 and 15 minute mile depending on how much energy I have at the end of the workout.

All in all, I am tired after this, but I am not dead. It is good to leave the gym tired, but invigorated. There is not energy to waste on negative things this way. I do find that I need a recovery day after this type of workout though. I am looking forward to running outside, but if I don't have to worry about slipping on the ice, I am not going to.

Pity Party Over Move On

You know, sometimes I get in a funk like everyone else. It is probably a very natural cycle, but I have to tell you, I don't like it! Being in a funk is nothing more than making the wrong choice on what you have in your life. There really is a silver lining to every cloud. What? Did I just say that? I guess I did.

Not every day is going to go my way. Not every experience is going to turn out the way I want it to. I am not always going to feel good about myself. But I am alive! I am here! And I do make a difference!

Often, when I don't like myself. I am finding that it is when I don't feel that I am making a difference. When I stop and look at where I was two years ago, WOW! There is a huge difference. I don't wake up every morning saying; "Oh shit, here we go again!" I still may not want to go to work, I would rather go workout. A job is a way to put food on the table and pay the mortgage, it is not my life. Two years ago, I thought that was all life was about. Don't get me wrong, I still love where I am working. The people are wonderful. They were at the last place too. But a job is just that, a job. A means to an end. This one is more rewarding emotionally, and that is what I need. My real reward is making a difference, to those around me.

I never thought I could make difference. But I know that I have encouraged others, by my endeavors. Silly that a big lug like me can do that. I know that my humor in stressful situations is a gift. I still need to develop a filter. By that I mean, I cannot always say what comes to my twisted mind. I never mean to hurt someone else's feelings. Often, I worry that I do unintentionally. I hope the mirth heals any wounds that my banter causes.

My goal this year, because I don't believe in resolutions is to not pity myself. I want to improve my perspective of myself. I don't want to be narcissistic. I just want to stop feeling poorly over stuff in my life that is not really all that bad. I have my health. I have my children. I have my wife. I have my parents. I have my sibling. I have friends. I have laughter. I have a job. I have goals. I have abilities. I have means to use my abilities to make my goals a reality. What do I have to be angry about? What am I lacking to be negative about? I think the answer might be either perspective or self-esteem! Well, guess what? Feel free to remind me that I have done a few things recently that can never be taken away from me; a century ride, a marathon, been a parent, been a husband, been a son, been a brother, hopefully, been a friend, been a human being! None of those makes me special. They just make me, ME! As Popeye used to say; "I am what I am, and that is all that I am!"

Here's to realizing that I don't have anything that bad in my life. Here's to chasing what I actually believe in, (wow, I believe in things)! Here's to putting others needs in front of my own! Pity Party Over Move On To Bigger Things In Your Life, Than Yourself!

Thanks for accepting me as I am. Hopefully I will learn to do the same.

A New Year And Still The Same Old Curmudgeon

I have been away for a while. It is not that I have not had anything to write about, only that I have been prepping for the triathlon and working. It is 2009 and I am still a curmudgeon. I am grumpy, I am cantankerous, and I am busy. None of this should surprise any of you. I have fallen into my age old fight against myself. I have been negative against myself while trying to contribute to the whole. I know that I am being way to hard on myself again, but this happens from time to time and I need to fight through it.

On the positive side, I am swimming regularly. I am spinning regularly, and now, I am starting to run regularly. Despite falling on my steps a couple of weeks ago, I have continued training. Someone with cancer, can't quit, and neither will I. Not that it is fun to sit on a bike saddle with a bruised tail bone, but shut up and bear it!

My sister continues to do well. The chemo is taking it's toll, but I am amazed at her resiliency!!! You are my hero! When days get tough for me, I know that they are nothing in comparison to what you are dealing with. I'm proud of you!

Jen and the girls are well. Despite my failings as a husband and a father, they are all doing remarkably well. E continues to succeed at the violin, and can actually read music. A language that makes no sense to me. Izzy continues to work hard in everything. She has resolve that goes beyond her small stature. Jenny as you all know probably deserves a Nobel prize for having to live and deal with yours truly.

I hope that the new year brings success to all of you in whatever you set your mind to accomplishing. It still astounds me to realize that when you commit to doing something, and put in the effort nothing can stand in your way. I am proof that no matter how flawed someone is, commitment and dedication will lead you on to your goal.

Farewell to 2008 and bring on 2009. Nobody knows what it will bring, but whatever it is, it will be an experience worth waiting for. I close with this thought:

"Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude." - Thomas Jefferson

I have lived both, and still do on a daily basis, but the only thing missing in my mind from this quote is: "You have the choice every day to decide what your attitude will be! Will you make the wise choice and take the lessons offered today with the right attitude, or will you close yourself off and let part of yourself die? The choice is always yours!" Marc The Curmudgeon.